Saturday, July 4, 2009

Ponderings and Musings - Updated

Regrets and memories are funny things.

Some events I wish I could go back and change. Some things I wish I could undo. Foolishness or carelessness, little things and big things. Usually I wish I could just erase the memory, because it's irritating to dwell on something that I can't change. I dislike thinking of things that make me feel foolish.

Some memories I pull out and look over often. I'll linger over them, replay them, and often try to rearrange things.

Some of those memories I linger over also have regrets attached to them. And I'm quite sure that I'm not the only one to ever do that, look back and regret and wish.

But the strangest thing about my regrets? Sometimes I wish I had more of them.

If I can't go back and undo a mistake, I wish I had made more of them.

As those mistakes shaped who I am now, would one or two more make a difference?

Part of me wants to tell you the mistakes I'm thinking of, but there would be no real point in it. Why should I drag you into those memories of mistakes, which could only be weird and uncomfortable for you. And if those mistakes have been fixed or smoothed over or gotten over, why should I bring them up?

I don't really fall into this mindset very often, and it annoys me when I do. But I wondered. Do any of you wish that you had made more mistakes, made different wrong choices? You don't have to tell me what they are, but it would be nice to know that I'm not the only one who does this.

(I know this is kind of a downer of a post. Next time I'll try to talk about more positive things.)

UPDATED: Since I don't know who all reads the comments, I wanted to make sure this showed up. Kristi commented and said the following: "I wish I had taken more opportunities that could have turned into regrets. I wish I had done more when I was younger. Taken more chances." That's such a better way of looking at all this. And it put me thinking in a different direction, which is always good.

2 comments:

Kristi said...

I don't know that I wish I had more regrets, but I wish I had taken more opportunities that could have turned into regrets. I wish I had done more when I was younger. Taken more chances.

Kethry said...

Not that you're all that old.

But I do like the bit about opportunities into regrets. That basically sums up the whole post.