So. A really weird thing that I figured out tonight. I've been going through my blogroll, reading the most recent posts of those on the roll. And a lot of the people on my list are members of my church, so there are a lot of reflections on general conference, and testimonies are shared about the gospel and the church and conference.
I feel awkward when they speak of personal and spiritual things, and when I read their testimonies about those personal and spiritual things.
I don't really know why. It's one thing to sit in a church meeting, when you expect to hear things like that. But to just stroll around the internet and read of spiritual things? It's weird. Maybe it's because I don't expect it. Maybe because when I was hanging out with friends, we didn't usually divurge and start talking about the Gospel and spiritual things. I guess that's a failing of me and the people I hung out with, and the types of conversations we could have.
When I go and read other people's blogs, it's a little like hanging out and telling stories and spending time with friends. I love getting glimpses of the personal lives of my friends. But it gives me pause when they talk about the religious stuff. (I don't mean to be flippant, or disrespectful of other people and what they write. That's not what this is about.) So maybe, with all the other things I want/need to work on, I need to remember that my friends do have testimonies, that they do have things in their lives that they feel strongly about.
Anyway. On a related note, I am really glad that I'm adult enough that I look forwards to General Conference and the spiritual high that it brings. And I am glad that I have friends who feel the same way. And I am very glad that I have friends who feel strongly enough about their experiences that they want to share it with everyone. Even if it makes me feel uncomfortable.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
A realization and a renewal of resolve.
I have become so passive when it comes to my internet usage. It used to be that I would participate on message boards, do all sorts of things on facebook, and even write on my blog. Now I hardly even sign into anything. I only do to check email and my bank balances. I hardly even come here to check on my friends' blogs.
I've been passive in other things, too. Like church. I still go, I still show up to meetings, but I haven't really put in a lot of effort.
But General Conference has revitalized my soul. (And getting wireless internet in the apartment.) I have a renewed determination to do better in my calling. And I miss writing. Journal writing, whether online, in a word doc, or in a real notebook, clears my mind. I'm not much for introspection, because I don't always like who I am, or more accurately, who I've been recently. But conference held so many great messages for me. Not least of which was pointed reminders that I need to keep my life in order, and that I can't just take the easy way and coast. So I need to take the time to write, to study, to reflect. And take the time to share what I've learned. And now that we have wireless internet, I can borrow the laptop and take it into my roon, or to the table, and be able to be comfortable writing.
Mostly, I want to be a more spiritual person, and live up to the responsibilities that I have. With Stake Conference and then being out of town, and then General Conference, I haven't been to church in weeks. I feel really disconnected from my ward and my calling. I have a presidency meeting tomorrow and I'm hoping that I'll have a clear head and be able to participate fully and freely.
I can't wait until next month's Ensign comes out with all the conference talks. There were so many powerful things said. I'm just glad that I don't have to make the decision on which to choose for lessons. I would have a hard time narrowing it down.
I want to keep talking, but I don't really have anything else to say. Today's been a very different kind of day. It's been a really good weekend, and I did a pretty good job of keeping that kind of feeling going today. Hopefully I can keep this going through the rest of the week.
I've been passive in other things, too. Like church. I still go, I still show up to meetings, but I haven't really put in a lot of effort.
But General Conference has revitalized my soul. (And getting wireless internet in the apartment.) I have a renewed determination to do better in my calling. And I miss writing. Journal writing, whether online, in a word doc, or in a real notebook, clears my mind. I'm not much for introspection, because I don't always like who I am, or more accurately, who I've been recently. But conference held so many great messages for me. Not least of which was pointed reminders that I need to keep my life in order, and that I can't just take the easy way and coast. So I need to take the time to write, to study, to reflect. And take the time to share what I've learned. And now that we have wireless internet, I can borrow the laptop and take it into my roon, or to the table, and be able to be comfortable writing.
Mostly, I want to be a more spiritual person, and live up to the responsibilities that I have. With Stake Conference and then being out of town, and then General Conference, I haven't been to church in weeks. I feel really disconnected from my ward and my calling. I have a presidency meeting tomorrow and I'm hoping that I'll have a clear head and be able to participate fully and freely.
I can't wait until next month's Ensign comes out with all the conference talks. There were so many powerful things said. I'm just glad that I don't have to make the decision on which to choose for lessons. I would have a hard time narrowing it down.
I want to keep talking, but I don't really have anything else to say. Today's been a very different kind of day. It's been a really good weekend, and I did a pretty good job of keeping that kind of feeling going today. Hopefully I can keep this going through the rest of the week.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)