Rehearsals, singing, and crankiness.

So we’ve had our fourth rehearsal for the Messiah. I invariably am cranky afterwards. I think that I’ve figured out a couple of the reasons for this.

I sit alone in the Soprano section. All the other people that I know well are in other sections. All the people who enjoy my snarky sarcastic humor are sitting far away. So when I have something to say that makes me laugh, or would make my friends laugh, it must go unsaid because I don’t amuse my neighbors. So all those comments must be kept inside, and builds up the tension.

Inner tension and outward irritability also arises from that music snob that I am. Or the wannabe conductor that I can be. Or just the restless singer that wants to just get on with the rehearsal. Eh, who am I kidding? All three of those parts of me combine during rehearsal. Music snob doesn’t really get involved, since I like what I’m singing. Restless singer and wannabe conductor kind of feed off each other. The singer just wants the rehearsal to proceed smoothly so that we can cover as much ground as possible. The conductor wants to take over the rehearsal and do it all her own way. Whenever the singer starts to get agitated about the rampant lack of discipline, conductor wants to be able to stand up and take control. These conflicting personalities can’t actually do anything about the situation, so by the end of rehearsal, you can imagine how frustrated and restless I might get.

Now that I’ve realized the factors to the crankiness, perhaps I’ll be able to not take it out on other people.

Oh, and I have a whole lot of music that I have to learn or take care of in the next month. There is a lot of stress that I all of a sudden feel.

1. Learn the eleven Messiah choruses.
2. Learn the six Soprano solos (I'm the understudy).
3. Sing in a trio for a favor - a song I'd never heard before, have only sung once, and had no input in the choice. (I'm a little more resentful about this one. I just need to get over it.)
4. Plan the Sacrament Christmas program. (Which actually deserves it's own bulleted list.) Musical numbers, congregational songs, and choir numbers. They don't have to be linked like I've done in the past, but I still need to fill about 30 minutes of time. And I have to direct the choir. Well, I could see if I could get Pierce to do one of the choir numbers. Hmmm.
5. Plan the music for the stake YSA fireside. I guess since the new branch is being organized, they're taking whoever is left in the stake callings that take care of that. So I need to get three musical numbers, the opening and closing music, and the chorister and the pianist.

So lots of fun for me.

pretty flower

This is what I saw when I walked out of my apartment this morning. I didn't know that plant had flowers on it.

UPDATE: When I walked out the door two days after this picture was taken, the bloom had already died. I'm glad I got to see it that one time.

Sunset

Because I want to post some pretty pictures and because I'm tired of not having anything new to say.

Blessings of tithing

There are great blessings that come because of tithing. I think most people now expect a story of how this one time I paid my tithing and got some great life-changing testimony-affirming experience happened. Well, that's not the story I have to tell. I didn't pay my tithing, and I'm glad.

Now before you condemn me for being glad I didn't pay my tithing, let me explain. The Sunday before General Conference, I forgot to bring a check with me to church to give my offerings. I was annoyed, because then I'd have three weeks of tithing and a fast offering to give all on one check two weeks later. It all worked out, but I prefer to give as I get paid. Makes it easier to make sure I keep current with it.

This past weekend was Stake Conference. I managed to remember a check the week before, so that was all good. But this week is a little tight. Not only rent, but baseball tickets were coming out of the same paycheck, so a little shifting of the funds was needed. So the little minor fact of not paying my tithing this week is a great blessing. As soon as the next paycheck comes, everything will be fine, and there will be no worries.

Isn't it funny where you can find blessings if you look for them? Normally, I wouldn't think about how not paying tithing is a blessing, but somehow, this week it is.

Now for a musical moment.

This morning the words of a song came to me while I was getting ready for the day.

If we do what's right we have no need to fear,

The results of the election have caused some interesting reactions. A lot of fear and doubt are popping up all over the place.

For the Lord, our helper, will ever be near;

I for one am not worried. Sure there's a bit of concern, but that would be there no matter who won the presidency. No matter who took office, he would still have to prove himself by living up to the campaign promises and speeches. There is enormous pressure to make things better.

In the days of trial his Saints he will cheer,

In fact, I'm not even disappointed. Or angry. Or convinced that I have to leave the country. (That strikes me as a slight over-reaction. But that's just me.) In my mind, the most important thing was a few pieces of legislation that passed in the states that had it on the ballot. That was the most vital thing to be decided this election.

And prosper the cause of truth.

I know that not everyone will agree with me, and that's fine. I am not disparaging anyone's fears or worries. I know that there is still much to wonder and worry about. But I have always tried to worry as little as possible. Some might not agree with how I deal with this stuff (like by mostly ignoring it), but I do think about it. I just choose to not discuss it and I refuse to worry about something I can't change.

We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few
When compared with the opposite host in view;
But an unseen pow'r will aid me and you
In the glorious cause of truth.

I am a firm and adamant believer in that unseen power. Truth will prevail when that power is on our side. Despite the hate and the fear that has been tossed around the last few months as election day approached, the cause went forward, and was defended. I had worries about that, and I knew that I had to do my part. (In fact, that proposition was the only reason that I registered and voted in my first ever election.)

Fear not, courage, though the enemy deride;
We must be victorious, for the Lord is on our side.
We'll not fear the wicked nor give heed to what they say,
But the Lord, our Heav'nly Father, him alone we will obey.

The Lord is on my side. That gives me a powerful sense of peace. I'm not saying that I'm just going to sit here and trust that all will be well. I know there is much to do to prepare for what will come. One of the writers on my blogroll mentioned food storage this morning. I think that is something I can do, and should do. There are other things that I'm trying to do, or wanting to try to do. But I know that I don't have to fear, because I trust in my Lord and God.

Let us all press on in the work of the Lord,
That when life is o'er we may gain a reward;
In the fight for right let us wield a sword,
The mighty sword of truth.

Fear not, though the enemy deride;
Courage, for the Lord is on our side.
We will heed not what the wicked may say,
But the Lord alone we will obey.

I'm not worried, becasue I know who's side I am on, and I know who is there supporting me.

Lists and things

I made a list of all the things that I want to/need to/should do/could do today.

• Write a blog entry.
• Pick one of the tags and do it.
• Check my bank accounts.
• Catch up on the baseball news.
• FedEx those packages.
• Filing for my supervisor.
• Plan for the big move.
• Email and notes to friends that I've neglected.
• Write in letter journal.
• Finish ripping and burning music from the Messiah.

Where to start... First, there needed to be music. I brought some Christmas music to work today. Well, I'm singing in the Messiah this year, so I need to get in the Christmas mood. Then, I needed to get some things out of my head, so I opened the letter journal. (It's a word document that is addressed to a particular person, who may not ever read it.) When I got that out of the way, I checked my account balances. (Notice how actual work productivity isn't even high on the list, let alone something I do first.) Once I ensured that my rent check won't bounce, I turned to work. (Well, after a game or three of Spider Solitare. I love that game.)

Those packages are now ready for pickup. Oh, and I answered the phone several times. And made a call. Now I can focus on some other things for a little while. Like the vital blog entry.

I did look at mlb.com already today and checked the free agent filings. It was good to know that even if all those free agents leave, the D-backs will get a lot of draft picks in return. The farm system will get stocked again.

I found it interesting that of all the randomness of my last entry, the focus was on my hair and appearance, not the hints about moving. Well, I am excited about my hair, so that's ok. I read an article today about haircuts. About a woman with really long hair who on a whim got 8 inches lopped off. Go check it out. My haircut wasn't quite as impulsive. But it is just as drastic. Too bad I didn't get any before and after pics. (Just as a side note, the pic of the author's new haircut is pretty much what my hair looked like after the trauma of my 2nd grade haircut. Imagine having that drastic of a haircut, but not realizing that that's what you were getting. Can you blame me for being hesitant of getting my hair cut?)

Ok, maybe now I'll go get some filing and pretend that I'll be productive for the rest of the afternoon.